One conflict I have had in the recent past is families wanting me to have their child use the potty twice an hour or even more frequently than that. It is incredibly difficult to help a family potty train their child in this manner when I have one other teacher in a classroom with me with ten children. As much as I would like to support families in this way, it is often impossible to have children sit on the potty that frequently. This leads to a conflict with families in which I can use effective communication skills. One strategy I could use is part of the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), which is that I could state what I wanted rather than what I don't want (The Center for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.). In this case, I would tell the family that I really want for their child to learn to use the bathroom and to take ownership of this skill rather than saying "well I really don't want to take your child that often because it causes me inconvenience". I could also use the NVC principle of connecting with universal human needs- potty training a child saves money, increases convenience for the family in the long-run, and satisfies a societal expectation of children around age three. These human needs are indeed important, and valuing them and identifying them helps to maintain that strong relationship. Saying "We can't do that, we don't have enough time" is a lot different than saying "we really value potty training, and we want all the children in the classroom to gain that skill, but it is difficult to have enough supervision to take your child that often". The second sentence conveys much more respect for the needs of the family. These are excellent strategies to support effective communication with families. What would you do if a family asked you to take their child to the bathroom every 30 minutes but you didn't feel you had enough staff or time to do so?
Reference
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
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ReplyDeleteHello Neisha, these are excellent strategies to support effective communication with families. But unfortunately same parents who don’t prepare their children for school are often the ones who later don’t read with their children, or help with their homework or show an interest in their learning. We are teachers, not supernannies. We care about the children and we can support the family but some jobs it just needs to be done by the child’s family and toilet training is one of them, at least in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteRegards,
Vivian
Hello Neisha,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about not having the time to potty train a child when the parents suppose to have the child trained before entering into preschool. I think as teacher's, and being with their child all day, they really think we have the time to potty train their child, and especially not when we got 10 to twenty children in the classroom, even though i have an assistant, it's still hard. I think you did the right thing by telling this mom in a nice and respectful way that you care about your child getting trained to go to the bathroom, but it starts at home with the training. I noticed as I kept reading your post that you didn't get upset in an angry manner, you just told her respectfully that you could not do the training.I think you communicated effectively to get your point across to her in a way that she know that we as teachers care about their children, but we have a job to take care of not just her child's needs, but also the need of other families children.
Hi Neisha!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great way to use the strategies to help you with this conflict. In my opinion, the best one mentioned was to state what you would rather want versus what you are not going to do. Great example!
Kristin
Neisha,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I definitely think that the second statement would receive a more positive response. As individuals, we are more open to statements that are affirming instead of those who tell us what we can't do, or we feel limit us in some way. It is the same as not telling a child to "stop that," but instead focusing on what we want them to do. I think that NVC is really about taking the time to focus on others instead of just ourselves and truly thinking before we speak.
- Amanda Linser
Hello Neisha
ReplyDeleteI agree that every 30 minutes is too much. I think that maybe you can give them a potty schedule or policy for the classroom. For example one daycare I Volunteered for has a every two hour policy and they send this home with he parents and ask if they can uphold this policy at home as well.