Communication Assessments

This week I completed three self-assessments for communication skills and had two other people complete them in asessment of me. One thing that really surprised me is that one of the poeple I had evaluate me had a much lower score than both my husband and I on the communication anxiety inventory. I had previously thought that everyone could read that I had some level of anxiety during my interactions with them, but apparently this person does not pick up on it. He is a father of one of the children in my classroom whom I also babysit. Upon thinking more about it, I realized that when I engage in communication with him, I am in a specific relational context.  I have known this father for almost two years, and so we have a very good rapport and have engaged in some conflict-resolution with one another with ease. This relational context also seems to influence his perception of my character. After all, our personal schemas and prior experiences affect how we expect others to behave (O'Hair, Weimann, Mullen, & Teven, 2015). The other person who filled out my assessments was my husband, and his anxiety score was comparable to the one I reieved during my own assessment of communication anxiety. I think this is because he sees me in other contexts than home and work. On the other hand, the father that I had fill out my assessment only sees me at work and in his home during professional interactions. What this tells me is that I am somewhat competent in professional communication because my anxiety is not apparent to those with whom I am working. Competent communication in the context of the workplace is critical for early childhood educators and I am pleased that this father does not read a lot of anxiety in our interpersonal communications.
One thing that did not surprise me during this exercise was finding that I was scored as "people oriented" by this father and myself. I know that I have deep concern for the feelings of others and I regard this trait as a professional asset. I am always seeking to serve, support, and empower the families of children in my classsroom and also my colleagues, and so their feelings and my empathy support me in this task. I was also not surprised that my husband scored me as content-focused because we typically do not engage in a lot of discussion about feelings but rather demonstrate concern for one another in different ways.
Reference

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Contextual Interactions

Interactions between myself and others vary depending on the cultural context. At home and with my family, I interact with people around me jokingly- it is not uncommon for someone in my family to call another member an asshole. Our lighthearted humor would not be appropriate for other contexts. In the workplace, I am careful to communicate professionally with everyone, which means that I use active listening, seek information, identify common goals, and more. In personal contexts, I am not as likely to seek more information about what the speaker is saying and I am less likely to reflect what I am hearing back to the speaker even though these are things I do in professional settings. Even communication within the professional setting depends on the cultural context; conversations with colleagues are very different than conversations with families. A spectrum of approaches toward communication with families and colleagues is necessary because each family and individual has differing values and culture. I had one family that had two very rugged young boys who played rough with one another. The family had no problem with their rough play, which is why when one of their children bit the other (which ended the play of course), my first words to their mother were "Henry got hungry today". Mom laughed, I apologized for the escalation in their play, and we moved on with a firm ground relationship. However, I do not think a similar choice of words would be appropriate for any family. Communication certainly relies on the cultural and relational aspects of the comminicators.
To be a more effective communicator, I will learn more about the cultures of families while avoiding a tourist approach to culture. Knowing the intersectionality that exists among cultural groups, I will use what I learn to help me understand mroe about the contexts in which people live rather than to apply this information to everyone of that culture I meet. For example, if I know that I have a Malaysian family starting in my program, I can read about Malaysia and the cultural practices of social groups there, but I cannot make assumptions about this family until I meet them and confirmed what I think with them. This will help me be a more effective communicator because I will have an idea what values this family may or may not have and I will be more knowledgeable when I seek information about them as a family.
I will also try to keep in mind what I have learned about empathy and its relationship to effective communication. I will try to go beyond identifying what other people are feeling by trying to put myself in their shoes and behave in ways that they would want their child's teacher to behave.
Lastly, I can be a more effective communicator if I stop sending mindless emails. I often respond to emails (from anyone) mindlessly without paying attention to how the words sound through text. I will try to stop this habit so that I can use effective communication even over the internet with families and colleagues.

Nonverbal Communication

This week I watched an episode of The Big Bang Theory with the volume on and with the volume off. With the volume off, I could tell that two of the characters were very frightened by a taller, muscular man. They cowered below him and ultimately came out of this man's apartment wearing only underwear. I also guessed that there may have been romantic attraction between two of the characters (which turned out to be accurate) because they made a lot of eye contact, seemed cheery while speaking with one another, and were together for much of the episode. I also inferred that one character was highly intelligent and baffled one of the other characters. She had a look of surprise on her face often after he spoke, especially while he was working in front of a whiteboard. It was quite clear throughout the whole episode that the main characters were all friends- they gestured to one another, smiled and laughed throughout their conversations, and seemed attentive while each was talking. It was easy to point out some of the comical aspects from the characters' facial expressions- at one point, one of the girls rolls her eyes while others grin, indicating a joke has been made. Proximity is also a factor here because the characters were a comfortable distance away from each other and yet close enough to signal a stronger relationship than a mere acquaintance. I tend to stand farther away from acquaintances than I do friends. I am interested to read about the ways in which my colleagues interpreted TV characters' nonverbal language.

I have seen one episode of The Big Bang Theory (a while ago), and so I already had a little bit of information about the characters. I think that a lot of my assumptions about what was happening in the episode were accurate because I was anticipating a comedy plot (which is what it turned out to be) and I also knew that all the characters were friends that live in the same apartment complex. Yet, even having very little information, it was easy to see that they were friends and that there was a conflict with this larger man. I also think that my habit of people-watching while in public helped me understand the episode because I often watch people interact with others without being able to hear them. 

Models of Competent Communication

When I think about someone in my life who demonstrated competent communication, I think of my professors from my undergraduate program at Plymouth State University. I had two professors in particular who taught early childhood classes and served the state of New Hampshire's early childhood field in varying capacities. These two professors went on to write a book together about technology in early childhood classooms (Cantor & Cornish, 2016). During personal conversations with these mentors, I realized that they seemed more inclined to listen to me than to provide their own perspective, and they modeled the idea of constructivist education (where children build on prior knowledge and learn best when they test their own hypotheses) by challenging rather than correcting errors. They were also both excellent facillitators of deep conversations about culture and priviledge. In particular, their skills at nonverbal communication and at reflecting and active listening were fundamental in their demeanors as 'good listeners' and effective communicators. As university professors, these are two great examples of people that I can model my own practices after. I eventually want to teach college courses, and their techniques for facilitating classroom discussions and for providing constructive communicative feedback on assignments are great models. One thing I remember that was very successful from their courses was the notion that students should use metacognitive strategies within their writings which in turn helped the classroom discussions become more targeted, focused, and cognitively appropriate. When students think about their own thinking, it is possible to recognize the many alternative perspectives to your opinion and, in turn, communicate with peers in classroom settings to improve our practice. These are just some of the specific ways my professors were excellent communicators and ways I can model my practice (in university classes) after their strategies.

Reference
Cantor, P. A., & Cornish, M.M. (2016). Techwise infant and toddler teachers. Charlotte, N.C.:Information Age Publishing. 

Final Notes on Equity and Diversity

One hope I have for all young children is that they develop a sense of tolerance toward diversity and learn to accept one another. I think that this is the only way our world will move in a more positive direction. In our Nation, it is critical that we help young children learn ways to be successful in a diverse society, and becoming comfortable with human differences is one way to encourage children to do that. I think a great goal for the early childhood field is to have every early childhood professional required to attend one professional development seminar on diversity and equity in the early childhood field every year. Over the last eight weeks, we explored how lack of knowledge or competency in terms of anti-bias education can do a disservice to young children. Requiring all professionals to begin their anti-bias journey through professional development is one way we can move our field in a more positive direction.
I want to thank all of my colleagues for your insights and sharing over the past eight weeks. It has been so valuable to hear all of your perspecctives and experiences and to relate them to mine. Learning about the ways other people live can help us develop a broader perspective, even when we listen to and have support from our own colleagues. I hope that we can continue to hold open lines of communication with one another as we move along in our program.